I should be doing my taxes right now. Instead, I’m starting a blog. Let’s call it my therapy, my journal, my rambling of thoughts, my processing of trauma. It will contain many mistakes and likely give you many reasons to judge me, but it is real and I hope maybe will reach someone who can relate to it…who can feel less alone because of it. That is what I struggle with, the alone part. 

I recently left an emotionally abusive relationship. One would say that my ex-partner was a narcissist. However, society throws that word around like candy in a parade. I did once, too. Then, I met, started a relationship, and had a baby with one. Being affected by a real narcissist is something I hope you never have to experience. It destroys you.

The reality is that this is my therapy, but only part of it. I see a real trauma-informed therapist, am part of a toxic relationship survivor support group, and do a lot of work to outside of both of those just to help myself heal. This amount of support to heal came from being in a 3 year relationship…all that damage in such a small amount of time. Some survivors stayed with their abuser for so much longer. 

One thing I have found is that stories from other survivors bring me the most comfort. They get it. Healing from this type of abuse can be so isolating and those stories help me feel like I’m not alone. I feel like those people are there to sit with me in it…and I want to be there to sit with others as well.

This will be my story.